Saturday, February 2, 2013

3 may kill us.

That's three, as in the age. Big is going through a very obnoxious phase. Licking. Yes, you read that right. Licking. He thinks it is double-over-pee-your-pants funny. It's the most funny to him to lick humans or the friggen dog. Sigh. The DOG. who knew that I would say, "DON'T LICK THE DIRTY DOG!" And it wouldn't be the punch line of a bad joke?!

We at first tried to ignore it, but have you ever been licked by a cat's rough tongue? Not pleasant, not to be ignored. Being licked by Big is equally impossible to ignore. Instead of rough, it's extremely wet and constant. And on your face.

No where in any parenting book have I found a chapter with the title, "how to train your licking toddler". Maybe once we figure out the trick to his de-licking, I'll write that chapter. Then I'll print it on note cards and just randomly stick it in child rearing books at Barnes and Noble so the buyer gets a bonus tip from a true de-licked family.

The father figure attempted to squelch the licking today by saying "eww, I just rolled in dog poo", followed by Big saying "really, where?" It wasn't quite the expected reaction. Maybe I could buy a habanero lotion and endure the burning sensation just long enough to repel the licking child. Probably not, but at this point, I'm just about willing to try anything!

No comments:

Post a Comment