Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Clifford needs put down.

Clifford the Big Red Dog might be the worst, and most mind-numbing children's series ever. How in the world did such a lame-ass story line get published in the first place? We have a "Where is Clifford" book. I think the twins mastered it at 34 weeks gestation. The book feels like it's 3400 pages when I'm reading it to Big. In reality it's maybe 10. Each page is a "here is the blah, here is the blah, where is The Big Red Dog?" The ENTIRE picture is a big red dog. Additionally, Emily Elizabeth is a whiney child that does not get me, er, Big, excited in any way. He doesn't like me to read her lines, and since it shortens the hideous book, I'm all about ignoring her.

For previous life debauchery punishment, the powers that be decided it would be funny for Big to like these cartoons even more than the books. The are friggen THIRTY MINUTES. GAHHHHHH! I think most children's books/cartoons are cute or at least I can see why a publisher took a chance, but the Clifford books and cartoons... Nope. Pure torture. Picking one to read or watch is like choosing to have dog shit on your right versus left shoe. Either way, it's going to stink until you manage to get rid of it. I'd love to go back and kick the pregnant me square in the ass for buying one of the damn books in the first place without reading. Anyway, to any of my family/friends that are reading this, if you give Big or Middle or Little, a Clifford book--- expect it returned to you, on fire, on your porch... After I clean off my right shoe.

3 comments:

  1. I dislike Clifford and the Hubbs...he hates the Bernstien Bears or how ever you spell it. Hate them!

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  2. I freaking hets that clifford cartoon. The characters are annoying. My son doesn't even like it thankfully. Now Word World is a whole other issue....

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  3. Clifford haters...UNITE!

    I don't mind the Bernstein Bears, and haven't experienced Word Words, yet. Oy, these writers obviously don't have kids!! Lol

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